Going To Mexico In August

Update: Sunday, August 30st, 2011, 3:03 P.M. Not Mañana Time

I haven’t posted in a while…got a bit busy…found the house that I will be moving into in San Pancho…cool place right by the beach…this pic was taken from the roof deck of the jungle…so I’d say mission accomplished…I kind of hate using that term because of the whole George Bush fiasco…him standing on the deck of an Aircraft Carrier after costing tax payers millions of dollars by being flown in on a fighter jet, then on the deck of the Aircraft Carrier with a sign over his head: "Mission Accomplished"…what a douche…if his mission was to blow a shitload of money flying in like that so he could look like the dumb redneck cowboy that he is…well then, mission accomplished indeed!
I’m back in states again…can you tell?? I split Sayulita Thursday, August 25th at 6:01 am after hitting up the ATM at the Oxxo on the way out of town. Oxxo is Mexico’s version of 7-Eleven, usually they’re in the same location as a Pemex, Mexico’s only gasoline company…so you wouldn’t say, I have to get gas, you would say, I have to stop at Pemex…it’s the only place to get gas in the entire country…as far as I know.

So Weetas and I made our way to the border…this pic was taken midway through our journey to the border, the clouds were hanging low nd looked like a 3D picture…my goal was to get there in 14 hours, which would have got us there by 8pm, still light out…but, we got there at 10:42 pm, for a total of 18 hours and 41 minutes. It got dark right when we were entering the section of Mexico where the "trouble" supposedly happens…if there was any trouble happening, I didn’t see it…I even stopped a couple times to see if I could…nada! I stopped outside of Nogales once to check on Weetas, the poor little girl had been laying under the passenger seat most of the way…she did at one point come up on my lap to investigate…she actually got her paws up by the driver’s side window and was looking out to see what the hell the news was talking about…I told her it was bullshit, but she had to see for herself…both of us agreed that there is nothing wrong with Mexico! The next time I stopped in Nogales around 9:30pm…the only thing I saw there were a couple of beautiful girls with their friends hanging out in front of The Oxxo.

After crossing the border, I continued on to Tuscon…I had to sleep…I stopped at a Wendy’s got something to eat, put the seat back and slept for an hour…I got up and Weetas was sprawled out on the back seat floor. We drove a bit more, stopped at some other fast food place, just to sleep…got up 3 hours later, just as it was getting light, and hit the road…6 hours to go! We had the AC on the entire way…it was hot in Arizona, but even hotter in the California desert…110 degrees! My car made it through 977 miles of Mexico and then another 551 miles through the Arizona and California deserts to LA without incident…yesterday, my low tire pressure light went on, this morning my tire was flat…there was a nail in my front right tire!!

Of all the shitty pothole filled roads in Mexico and then the extreme heat of the desert…I come back to LA for a nail that has been waiting for my tire for the last month…there were so many times in Mexico where I thought my front end would be left behind after driving through massive potholes…I am soooo grateful that I only had a little nail waiting for me back in LA!

The drive back was pretty beautiful…it’s so green in the southern part of Mexico…parts looked like Hawaii…I got pics of what looked like possible dormant or extinct volcanoes…I’ll post a lot later…gotta split.

Oh, found that house, so will be trying to get down there in the next couple of months.

Update: Sunday, August 21st, 2011, 3:26 P.M. Mañana Time

I made a comment on a friend’s Assbook page…I mean Facebook, whom I care about deeply…her and her boyfriend had just checked into Foursquare at the restaurant they were in and I said: “Foursquare must have been created by a hitman…why would you want to let everyone know where you are”, to which she replied: “I’d be more worried about letting everyone know where you are in Mexico, don’t get kidnapped.”, to which I replied: “Nobody really knows where I am, stop watching FOX news, they’re filling everyone’s heads with Bullshit…as usual…as all media is.”

Is there anyone out there who isn’t a slave to the media???

I was in Bucerias the other day to try and open a bank account, but I didn’t have a copy of the electric bill…my name doesn’t have to be on it, I just need to show that I can get it I guess…I got it yesterday and there’s no number on the house (even better), it just has the name of the street with "sn" after it…I thought, maybe they’re using letters for this particular street, but then Esther (*sigh*), said that it stands for Sin Numero, which means "Without Number", I said "oh" (in English that means oh)…I hope they take it like that…I’m also going to start my FM3 tomorrow when I go to the bank…the immigration office is right down the street from the bank.

While I was in Bucerias, I saw these off-road Segways. I’m not sure if they were renting them or if the police road them…the guy I saw riding one looked as if he was just a security guard…they need them there though.
I had a good idea yesterday…the one thing about Sayulita and San Pancho is that they’re both small…there are no movie theaters and Netflix doesn’t work down here…the main reason is because there is no mail down here….yaaaaayyyy, no junk mail…the other reason is because they don’t stream outside the US, neither does Hulu…I did find a site that has a few shows and Family Guy *Big Grin*…and there are no DVD rental stores…so you’re stuck buying shitty bootleg copies of movies…figuring out a way to get DVD’s down here and opening a little store, is an idea that I think is "Low Season" proof, because there are plenty of Gringos here and also the locals would dig it…you would just have to have DVD’s en Español. A lot of shops close for the low-season, but everyone wants to watch movies…ALWAYS…if there’s one thing the Great Depression taught us, is exactly that! Any takers???

Update: Sunday, August 20th, 2011, 3:29 P.M. Mañana Time

There was a huge storm the other night that put 4 inches of rain down! The raylampago y trueno (thunder and lightning) was insane…it woke me up and scared the shit out of Weetas. I struck the pole outside my house…I know this because when I woke the next morning the DSL modem was fried! I’m glad it stopped there and didn’t fry my Vonage device and router!!

The good thing about all that rain is it showed where all the leaks in this house are. I was also curious about how it affected my new place of residence in San Pancho…I opened the front door and the word FUCK came out of my mouth aloud! The whole first floor flooded…the living room all the way into the kitchen…luckily it’s a tile floor. It flooded because there was a river of water coming down the street and when it got to my house, came right under the door…there’s about an inch gap…again, now I know what I have to do to prevent it next time. Upstairs only leaked a bit in 1 bedroom through the ceiling.

Cecilia called Esther, the person that is in charge of renting the house and one of the most beautiful women in San Pancho…anyway, Cecilia called and told her about the flood and she said she would have someone clean it today and bring me a copy of the factura electrica (electric bill). I need a copy to open a bank account and to get my FM3 for residency.

When we did our initial walk through of the house, we went up stairs and saw the weirdest thing…a gecko and climbed up on the ceiling was hanging upside down and died…I have no idea why, but the poor thing was just hanging there dead.

I gotta split…my laptop is dragging ass and tengo mucho hambre…I think th PC is now on Mañana Time!!

Update: Sunday, August 17th, 2011, 11:18 P.M. Mañana Time

Let me preface the post below by saying, after I wrote it, I wasn’t sure if I should post it or not…I had to check out a few things first…I saved it for a couple days…

Just came back from Cafe Arte in San Pancho where I had dinner, will be living around the corner from soon and where I put a deposit down on the house…I logged on to Assbook…I mean Facebook to see if a friend sent a message she said she would and saw a post by my niece: “Back in God’s country”…I hope with every fiber of my being she was being facetious…sorry, had to release that before my head exploded…no, I’m not going to explain it or deeper into the why’s…

I hung out in Cafe Arte all afternoon…I was supposed to meet Humberto at two, but I guess I’m already slipping into Mañana Time…I’m going to have to watch that…I got there at three…Sobhi!! :), and he had split to Puerto Vallarta, he was selling one of his pieces, so he had to split. I waited and hung out with Fernando, he’s a young Chilean kid who works there as as Chef/waiter…his English, like Humberto’s, is as good as my Spanish…these are the kind of situations I hope for…I think without duress, we achieve nothing…ok duress may be a bit strong for this situation, but, it helps to be forced into a situation you really are uncomfortable with or don’t want to be in…it makes you grow and learn faster…he’s a good kid, I learned a lot today, as did he.

When I arrived at Cafe Arte earlier, I was standing outside and saw this weird bug flying by…I had never seen anything like it so I followed him? It was a slow flying bug…it flew as if it were using a hang glider or ultra-light…it has these two beautiful brown and black wings that did nothing except let it glide and two smaller celephanr looking wings that flapped furiously to give it motion. The pic was taken when it landed and the propulsion wings were folded underneath the glider wings.
I have a video of it in flight also and one of when it landed on a plant and was flapping it’s wings, getting them ready for compaction…I’ll post those later…I have to start posting earlier, tengo mucho sueño! I must find out what sort of bug this is!!

While I was filling out the contract for the house, one of Humberto’s friends rolled up in his VW Bug…Marcello, I had met Marcello before when he, Humberto and I had run into each other in Sayulita…I was sitting down at a taco stand, enjoying some fish tacos, when this mini-van drives by with a beep and a wave…I’m looking but thinking, who the fuck is that, I turned my head to see if they were waving to someone behind me…no, and when I turned back, the driver, Humberto, point at me as if to say, no you, you stupid fuck…the whole while with with his typical smile…then I realized who it was, waved, and turned back to my tacos…they were good! I finished up, paid the 30 pesos or whatever it was and headed off in the direction of the mini-van to see if I could catch up with them…(I say them, thinking it was Humberto and his wife Cecilia…because he was driving a fucking mini-van), so I turn up the street along the main plaza and then I see Humberto and Marcello, sitting outside Monchis, having a couple of Vodkas…”Ohleevere, sientate”…he talked me into it!

I got a Pacifico from Christina, this was the first time I met her, and sat down…few drinks later, we split and go to Casa de Marcello for a bit…I’ll end that there…so that’s how I met Marcello

He came up to me and said hi and showed me some Tahitian Pearls that had for sale…nope, didn’t ask, I declined…I was getting hungry and the sun was going down, and I was waiting for Esther, the landlord of the house, I went outside sat down and ordered fettuccine, mixed salad and a glass of pinot grigio…it was still HOT and I was getting tired of beer! The food was awesome as usual…I expected the mixed salad to be mixed green with a tomato sliced in, as it would have been done in LA, it had all that, artichoke hearts, capers, and a great house balsamic vinaigrette…Humberto and Marcello chatting a couple tables away…then Humberto came up to me with one of the Tahitian Pearls he leaned over and in a sort of whisper and in his broken English (there were two women sitting at the table between mine and the one he and Marcello were sitting at) said “hey, dese people need mahney”, he was referring to Marcello and his family, “he give you dis for 400 pesos”, he originally told me $200 US, when I had first declined, that’s quite a reduction, they were either fake or he really needed the mahney. I told Tito (I’m tired of typing Humberto), “I don’t have 400 pesos on me”, he said “I do, I geef to him and you pay me later”, I said ok…later when Marcello was leaving, he gave me a smile, that told me he needed it…I made the right decision.x

Update: Sunday, August 16th, 2011, 8:02 P.M. Mañana Time

Went to Carmelita’s for lunch/dinner and had chicken mole…it was very good, but I’ve been spoiled…my ex-wife made the best mole ever…for all you gringos out there who are thinking: “Why the fuck would he eat a mole…I didn’t even know you could eat a mole…was his ex-wife a hillbilly from South Carolina or one of those other inbred hillbilly places, what did a mole ever do to her?”, it’s pronounced ” ‘Mole’ – ‘Aay’ “…she made the best everything though…the woman was gifted…but I digest…hehe, but no really, I just burped and the mole came up…a bit spicier this time though…nice…Carmelita’s was good, but my ex is Latina after-all, so mole was her thing.

Josuelo was waiting tables tonight…he just got back into town last night…drove back from Zacatecas and he was ffuuuucckked up!, But then again, so were a lot of people…as I’ve mentioned previously, Sayulita is a drinkin kind of town, there doesn’t seem to be a need to have a reason…it’s so hot and humid that suckin down cold Pacificos seems like the only intelligent thing to do…otherwise you’re swimming in Ball Soup!

Josuelo was drinking next door to Monchis in Carmelita’s with everyone that worked there…a bunch of nice people…getting lit. Everybody at Monchis was having fun…just another excuse to party! I saw Christina this morning when I was at Orangy, a new Smoothie Bar in Sayulita owned by Paul and Daniela, she kind of pronounces her name with a “T H” at the beginning as you would when pronouncing a word with a “d” in it, like “Lado”…it’s very cute… they make all kinds of fresh fruit smoothies…I got the Surfer’s Brunch which consists of Orange, Banana, Strawberry, Apple, Peach, Oats and Yogurt…it was delicious and took care of breakfast for me because it was very filling…the oats probably helped with that…I met Paul about a week ago when he pounding the pavement, or in this case, pounding the cobble stones passing out flyers for their new endeavor, they’re right next to the Lava Zone, a little place I go to have my laundry done…I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ll NEVER go to a laundromat to wash my clothes again…it’s either having a machine at home, or dropping it off to have it done…today’s load, which was almost all my t-shirts and a couple pairs of shorts, was 37 pesos, that comes to $3.0178 US

After I dropped off the laundry, I went next door to Orangy and got the Surfer’s Brunch…Danni (Thanni) is pregnant and is going to have a little boy…that’s what I think anyway. They’re both very nice and emanate goodness and white light…you know some times you’ll meet someone that just makes you feel comfortable and good, that’s them…that baby is a lucky mofo!

Getting punchy, 11:29 pm, going to open a bank account mañana and put a deposit down on Casa Oly!
Two of the pics in this post are of the beach that is behind Casa Oly, 1 minute and 30 seconds away by foot, and the back deck of the house that looks at that beach.
Nos Vemos!

Update: Sunday, August 16th, 2011, 2:59 P.M. Mañana Time

Quick update here…I went to Monchis down the hill, last night to get something to eat, Monchis is right in the Sayulita Main Plaza, and they were having their one year anniversary party, so they had the BBQ going out on the street, cooking burgers, chicken, ribs and whatever else would taste good BBQ’d…I had a cheeseburger…it was perfect…the BBQ was one of those made out of a steel barrel cut down the middle…this one had some age to it, so the meat tasted awesome!
I had a burger there once before, not BBQ’d, but cooked in their cucinita in the back…it was a great, late night, drunk burger, not too big, just the right amount of greasiness and it came with shoestring fries!

So, I was sitting at a little table outside, facing the cobblestone street with my friends Phil and Carlita, and Phil pointed out this HUGE Bird of Paradise tree…that’s right, tree, not plant (I know, trees are plants, but you get what I mean)…it was the biggest fucking Bird of Paradise I had ever seen and it looked like a Peacock strutting with its tail fully extended!! I left the truck in the pic, so you could get an idea of how big it is.

That’s it for now, more on the party later…tengo mucho hambre…estoy fuera!

Update: Sunday, August 14th, 2011, 5:27 P.M. Mañana Time

I started adding the time I’m writing because the last post was written around 1 AM and I was a bit punchy…thus the typos…

Forgot to add last night that after everything, I was having dinner at Cafe Arte, sitting on the sidewalk as usual, having a caprese salad, mushroom and spinach ravioli, a seafood empinada, the second half of which I am eating right now and a glass of Leon de Tarapaca shiraz from Chile (claro que si)…the full moon was rising through the palm trees…I tried to get a good pic with my phone…I didn’t realize my camera was in my car!

I also forgot to add this picture of the Chihuahua giving the bigger dog some action…or so it appears. I took this when I was having a Bloody Mary at Breakfast…I laughed out loud and luckily had my phone cam poised for action!!

I got up this morning…woken up by Weetas…she’s been waking me up every morning all of a sudden…I think it’s because I’ve been feeding her soft food here in Mexico when she normally only gets dry food…got ready to see Miguel this morning for my arm…I found his place, got out of the car and called out his name through the fence…”Be right there”, he said…his little studio is in the front of his house, right off the sidewalk, nothing but a bright green curtain with some pattern on it, separating the studio from the sidewalk…first thing he does is bust out a big fatty…he apologized for it “not being as good as the stuff I buy in the US at the medical marijuana dispensaries”…I’m not an expert on the different kinds, but it seems to me if it works, then it’s good…so after that, I laid down on his table and he first proceeded to work my left arm over, working each joint in each finger over till we got a pop, then the wrist, the elbow, then the shoulder…he then moved to the right arm…that was interesting…he stretched it out like it hasn’t been stretched in years!!! There were times where he had a tight grip on my arm, where I could actually feel it…but that’s what it also feels like when I try to move my arm…in my mind, it feels like the muscles are contracting and the arm is moving…but it’s a very deep feeling…it’s been like that always, so I know there’s definitely something going on in there. He said by working the arm like that, getting all the tendons back in place and stretching things out, that it allows the sub-conscious to open up, or something to that affect.

Smoking that joint before hand was very helpful in relaxing me…there were still times where I could feel myself fighting what he was doing…he felt every single time I resisted, no matter how small it was…he was moving things around that haven’t been moved around in a long time…shifting the energy around, so it makes sense that the body would fight this…I think fear of change is hard wired into us and it’s up to us to upgrade the wiring to allow change to happen…he then worked on the legs, getting the toes, ankles, knees and then hips…he said I would be sore tomorrow and probably the day after…he finished the session by cracking my back…that definitely released some garbage…I go to see him again on Thursday…I’ll keep you posted.

After I was done at Miguel’s, I drove over to Tito’s place, parked in front and shouted up to him…no reply, so I went to Costa Azul, also in San Pancho, to let my friends know I was staying…I had told them I was leaving and would let them know if I decided to stay. I was there about 15 minutes and then went back to Cafe Arte to see if Tito was back…he was…he and Cecilia were at the soccer field “trotting around the field” as she put it. I talked to Tito in front of Cafe Arte as he prepared to open by sweeping the sidewalk and the street in front…he was whistling and sweeping, sometimes looking up to see what made the noise he just heard and the whole while sweeping…forehand, then back hand, back and forth, then going back to give the same piece of ground a second pass…it was so carefree and matter of fact as if his sweeping were saying, “Yes, this is what I do every morning, but I have to and I like it”…it was very nice to watch…being a bit stoned from Miguel’s session probably helped with that, but it was still nice just the same…did I mention Tito and I have the same birthday? He and I are soul brothers I think…he’s Chilean and his Engrish is about good as my Spanish (I’m getting better though)…he always seems to be happy and content with his life…after all, he is El Padrino de San Pancho…he started calling me San Oleever (I spelled it that way so you might understand how he pronounces my name) for some reason…not sure why…I’ll take it as a good thing though.

Cecilia was upstairs and she called Esther, who was going to show us a couple houses…Tito was my translator/negotiator…the first house, literally a stone’s throw away from Cafe Arte, was a 3 bedroom, split level house with a gated driveway and AIR CONDITIONING…newly remodeled, internet, Satellite TV and an ocean view from the huge balcony overlooking the backyard…the beach is 30 seconds away…$9,000 pesos a month; that comes to roughly $731 and change a month…the second house, not nearly as nice, so I won’t even bother going into it. Besides, the first house, Casa Oly, and I, bonded as soon as I walked in…I’m signing a 1 year lease this Wednesday! I’m stoked…my main objective…well, I had two main objectives, the first to see if I could work down here, the second, to see if I could find a nice place to live…both objectives achieved…now I just have to figure out all the logistics and I’ll be speaking Spanish in no time! 🙂

No Vemos!

Update: August 13th, 2011

In my previous update I said the place I went to in San Pancho was called Pepito’s…my apologies to Jeremy, the owner of Panchito’s…and the name of the taco stand is Baja Takeria (yes, they spell it with a K), owned by Jerry…different guy, not Jeremy…

This morning I was a bit hung-over…Sayulita is a drinkin’ kind of town…no me gusta…I went to Cafe El Espresso for breakfast and also to see mi mujeres favorito en Sayulita…Lupe, Cece, y Teresa…the hangover persisted even after eating, so I walked down to the beach and sat down at Breakfast (yeah, it’s called Breakfast) and got a damn good Bloody Mary…actually, I got two…the pic is of the “bar” on the beach…it’s made from an old boat…el cantinero es Lupe…he’s a nice kid…unfortunately, the two bloody mary’s didn’t do what I had hoped…time for a siesta…now I understand why they have siestas in Latin countries.
I walked back up to the house, stripped down, got in the shower, and went to bed for a couple hours. I needed to get up at 5 mañana time to meet Tito (El Padrino de San Pancho) so he could bring me around San Pancho to look at some houses for rent. We got in my car with his friend Beto, and started looking around…Tito didn’t remember the places like he thought he did…so we went back to Cafe Arte, his joint, where he got a list that he got from another friend Gino…he got back in the car with the list and 3 Dos Equis Lagers…we proceeded to find the first place on the list…it was really cool…2 bedroom, the master bedroom had A.C.!!!, it was on the second floor and had this really cool open air kitchen that overlooked the back yard…$6,000 pesos a month, which as of my writing this is: 6,000.00 MXN = 487.527 USD! I think I can swing that!

We went back to Cafe Arte and when we got there, there was an older couple that had just arrived and were friends with Humberto(Tito) and his wife Cecilia…their names were Miguel and Heather…turns out Miguel is a Holistic healer and his wife/girlfriend (I’m not sure which) had severe pain in her shoulder at some time from an accident and was on Oxycontin for the pain…he got rid of her pain and the Oxycontin…I’m looking at more places mañana with Tito, also in the morning, before that, I’m going to see Miguel for my arm…this trip could turn out to be one of the best of my life!! I was going to leave the day before yesterday, but my gut was SCREAMING NOOOOOO…every time I’ve ignored my gut, something bad has happened…now because I listened, I may have found a nice place to live, once and for all get rid of the pain in my arm, and I found Kristen’s Tamarindo candy!! If I had kept driving, I’d be back in LA right now in my beautiful air conditioned loft (I miss air conditioning soooo much!), not having achieved my objective for coming to Mexico, I’d still be popping Vicodin like candy and Kristen wouldn’t have her Tamarindo!

It’s raining right now, there’s thunder and lightning, as there has been every night since I’ve been here, the cicadas are chirping outside y tengo mucho sueno…hasta la proxima vez…

p.s. The Iguana was gone this morning!

Update: August 12th, 2011

I had Huevos Divorciados this morning at Cafe El Espresso Sayulita, it was a beautiful day so I decided to go up the hill and get my laptop and go back down, sponge off their WiFi and work from there…right before I got to my place, I saw that someone had left a dead Iguana next to a pile of what looked like dog food…I guess hoping that some stray would jump at the chance to get fresh meat…I felt bad for the little guy…not sure if he was killed for that purpose, or maybe just died naturally and someone found it and put it out so it wouldn’t go to waste…I didn’t notice if it was there or not when I came home just now!?

Speaking of food…it’s Taco night tonight and tomorrow night at Panchito’s in San Pancho…I went there last Saturday night on the recommendation of a friend…one of the best fish tacos I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot!! There is a little taco stand that is closed for the low season, but worked out a deal with Panchito’s to do Taco Night on Fridays and Saturdays…I LOVE when people think outside the box and invent new ways to make income when everyone else just sits on their ass goes along with the “Low Season”…I wish I could remember the name of the owner of the taco stand…he deserves recognition…next post with pictures…speaking of Tacos…my little neighbor, “Taco”, is crowing right now telling me it’s time for tacos.
Nos Vemos!

Update: August 11th, 2011

I was going to come home today, number one, because the internet was knocked out by a rain storm about 5 days ago…so I had no internet access at home…I actually packed up, turned in the keys to the place, said good bye to my friends down here and hit the road with Weetas hiding in her litter box again…this time I got it on video.

I got about 10 miles away and pulled over because I really didn’t want to leave yet, I still have about 3 weeks left in the house, and I just didn’t want to leave…so I’m sitting on the side of the road thinking about everything and then called the girls at Primavera Rentals to see if USB internet sticks were used in the area, after I got off the phone with them, they were going to check for me and call back…I just turned around and went back, when I got back to Primavera Rentals, Virginia was on the phone with TelCel getting all the information I needed, so I got the keys to the house, unloaded the car and brought Weetas upstairs and then took off for Puerto Vallarta to buy one of those USB sticks…I have one from Verizon, but that would have cost me a fortune to use. I got one for $299 pesos, which is roughly $30 and it came with one month of free internet…perfect! When I got back to the house, the internet was back up, so now I have a back up in case another rain storm knocks out the internet again!

Another reason I wanted to leave is because I think for the first time in my life…EVER, I was a bit homesick!! I really love where I live in Los Angeles right now…so we’ll see how that plays out! Now maybe I’ll find a place to live down here that I love equally as much for long term?? By place to love I mean house…I already love the town.
Here are a few more pics:

I was having breakfast the other morning and took this of the main plaza downtown.

I was checking out the town when I first got here and saw the coloring caused by the sunset and rain clouds and thought it looked beautiful.

If you go all the way down the main street in San Pancho, just past Cafe Arte, it dead ends at the beach…everyone goes down there to catch the sunsets. There’s also a little bar/restaurant right there. My friend Amber is watching the sun take a dip.

One Of My Neighbors, I’ve affectionately named him Taco…there’s a whole bunch of them that hang out on my front lawn under a bush.

Update: August 8th, 2011

The drive was AWESOME! Long but awesome…and contrary to what the media would have you believe, trouble free! The only trouble I had was when I reached Mazatlan and was making a left turn at a light…the light was yellow when I was in the middle of the intersection with cars behind me still making the turn, a cop saw my California plate and decided to shake me down…now, I know I did nothing wrong and he offered to go the station to straighten it out, which is what you should do in a case like this…had I called his bluff, he would have let me go…it was getting late and I needed to reach my next destination before dark, and I had my cat, Weetas in the car who was hiding in her litter box

Weetas Hiding On The Way To Mexico in Her Litter Box

So Herman the cop said we could take care of it here for 800 pesos, to which I said: “no way”…If offered him $500 pesos, which is worth roughly $50. If it were earlier in the day and I didn’t have Weetas, I probably would have gone to the station…it’s funny…one of the phrases I memorized before driving down was: “Llévame a la estación de policía”, which means: “Take me to the police station”…I wish I could have used it.

It happened another time in Sayulita…I had already been there about a week and was on my way to San Pancho, I was making a left turn again, only this time, there was a speed bump at the turn and it was on a small incline, so the combination of the incline, left turn and speed bump made my front tires screech…I have front wheel drive so that happens often. There was a motorcycle cop hanging out under a tree on the right…he signaled me to pull over. he thought I was peeling out and when I told him why it really happened, he was hemming and hawing…said he was going to give me a ticket, I said: “FOR WHAT, SCREECHING MY TIRES!?” To which he replied: “Yes”, to which I then said: “It’s not illegal to screech your tires”…he had no reply…he was just mumbling and looking around waiting for me to offer him some money…the whole time, I never broke eye contact with the guy…he looked away several times, so I knew I had him there, because he knew what he was doing was wrong…I can hear some of you now…”Are you crazy? just give the guy some money” Fuck that! I already got shook down once on this trip.

I did learn a lesson from both of those incidents…never carry big bills in your wallet while driving down or around Mexico…when I pulled my money clip out to see what I wanted to give the “cop” in Mazatlan, the first bill was $500 pesos and he saw it…the other thing is never break eye contact with the cop, he’ll think your nervous and guilty…I would say also, you should go with your gut feeling on that one, because if you run into a douche bag cop, he may take it as a challenge. Keep the big bills separate, or keep your “bribe money” in a completely different spot on your person or in your car, so when you whip it out to show the cop how much you have, it’ll be small bills only.

So I rented a house in Sayulita, Mexico for the month of August and I’m driving down. Sayulita is about 30 miles north of Puerto Vallarta…when I tell people I’m driving to Mexico, the first thing out of their mouths is “Ooh Be careful”, or more recently: “You’re either really adventurous or crazy…”.

It’s kind of funny but more sad to see how brainwashed people really are by the media…I’ve had people say things like that to me who have NEVER even been to Mexico and only know what some asshole on TV or the radio wants them to believe!!

Personally, I think the media is taking part in the US government’s plan to destroy Mexico’s economy by eliminating their tourism by using fear tactics…much like G. Dubya used when he was in office and trying to get re-elected. Scare the people and you have them in the palm of your hands!!

Why would the US want to destroy their economy you ask? Because then they can swoop in like a knight in tarnished armor and save the day…and all they’ll want in return is their oil. I was just in Mexico at the beginning of May this year and gas is cheaper there than here!

It doesn’t really matter anyway…we’re going to have the North American Union soon! They’re all up at the Bohemian Grove up north deciding our fates right now!! So instead of USA, it’ll be NAU…I wonder what our new flag will look like?? We’ll have to combine our flag with a maple leaf and an eagle…maybe they’ll have a contest??

Anyway…I’m driving to Sayulita, Mexico for the month of August and will be documenting the whole drive down and my stay down there and then the drive back…stay tuned!

p.s. The pics in this post were taken when I was in Sayulita and San Pancho in May, 2011.

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Crusader, fighting the evil of the world, one douche bag at a time!!
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